perpetual notion

we all know the internet is an immense wealth of information. of course, with information comes misinformation. this was recently illustrated to me in the form of two chan emails. I shall highlight them now:

1. don't buy gas from a certain company so that we can drive gas prices down. this makes no sense and would never be effective as Snopes clearly explains.

2. microwaving things in plastic containers can kill you. this one supposedly includes microwavable dinners whose packages are specifically designed for this purpose. I highly doubt that anyone would be allowed to sell anything in a package that could harm you in this way. the letter specifically mentioned JOHN HOPKINS in the title and in the message body. the real Johns Hopkins issued a statement disproving this and explaining that this false information was wrongly credited to researchers from the institution.

you can't trust everything you read on the web, nor can you always trust information that others decide to forward to you. so before you decide to send that startling piece if information to all of your family and friends, do a simple web search or look at one of these reputable sites:

Urban Legend Zeitgeist

Snopes

thank you.

profile uprated decently

a common situation: you arrive at a drug store to get a prescription (re)filled. you walk up to the pharmacy desk area, and a person, at your level or for some reason a foot or two above you, takes your script and tells you it will be 10-20 minutes and that you will be called over the PA when the order has been filled. fine, you say.

but why? how long does it take to put 30 pills in a bottle? surely not that long. it's not like they're making each pill individually, painting those tiny illegible markings on each caplet half. no, they simply find the correct container, count the pills, stick a label on and staple too much paper (half of which has a needless adhesive backing) to a paper bag. and, most of the time, those last two steps only take place after you have been summoned and are waiting to (co)pay. they never seem too busy back there anyway. are they just professional procrastinators? has anyone ever questioned them on this inexplicable usage of time? maybe they're just trying to continue the doctoral theme by keeping you waiting for no obvious reason.

so why does it take so long? I just don't know. today, though, I had a breakthrough. I realized that during those 10-20 minute intervals I wander around the store, what else do I have to do (except maybe get my blood pressure tested, 5 times)? undoubtedly, in that time, I am able to stumble across some product, necessary or otherwise, that I decide to buy. today it was shoe protectant spray and a toothbrush.

is it a ploy to get us to spend more at our local Walgreen's/Rite Aid/CVS ? (if it isn't, it sure works on me.) is there something they are actually doing in that time? are they just consistently behind schedule?

confusedly yours,
Lugubrious E. Overemphasizing

April showers may bring flowers

I don't like having to turn down fliers from people on campus. I'm not quite sure why so many people at such a liberal university enjoy wasting paper. Isn't there some other way to get the word out about events without 'killing a tree'? I hear this e-mail thing is pretty popular with the kids, why not try that?

the other day I had just turned down some religious literature and was making my way across the diag thinking about this annoyance. I was then approached by a member of the men's glee club wearing a tuxedo who asked: 'free money?'. I smiled and said no thanks. my ears were plugged with music and I assume he hoped I wasn't listening. this interaction made me a bit less upset about the flyer problem. I still think it is a waste of time and money though.

ttfn,
dg